Uncontrovertable Proof of the Existance of God

An all-in-one beer brewing device from Gizmodo. I mean, could anything be better? I agree with the muslims: God is great.

Props to my man Zac Johnson for pointing this out.

Ovadia Yosef has left the building

Rabbi Ovadia Yosef, former Chief Sephardi Rabbi of Israel, a Gadol of Torah, who has written voluminously on Jewish Law and has been a source of reason and leniency in the face of a growing trend towards absolutist orthodox stringency, has finally lost his freakin' mind.

In his weekly parsha-address, Rav Ovadia said:

"Is it any wonder if, heaven forbid, soldiers are killed in a war?" he said, "when they don't observe the Sabbath, they don't observe the Torah, they don't pray every day, they don't put on phylacteries every day. Is it any wonder that they're killed? It's no wonder."

It's not the first time Rav Ovadia has said some ridiculous bull sh*t. The article also cites that he blamed Katrina on Bush's support for the Gaza pullout and that he cursed Ariel Sharon with illness for initiating the disengagement plan.

This is the same guy who, back in the 80's, cited pikuach nefesh (saving a life) as to why it was OK to cede land for peace, at a time when no religious leaders would dare suggest giving back an inch of the Holy land. Rav Ovadia also gave a lenient ruling to a meat restaurant in Israel, granting it kosher status despite the fact that it would, on occasion, serve ice cream to customers in-the-know, on the basis that if he did not, the restaurant would go whole-hog traif (pun certainly intended).

It's so sad to see this man say such bizarre things. Ovadia Yosef at one time was the only rabbi to be pro-peace with Palestinians, and this while representing Sephardic Israelis, a typically right-wing group. All his earlier work, both political and legal, is going to be eclipsed by these inane ramblings. So hey, fellow clerics out there, no matter how bad your High Holiday sermon is, at least it won't offend millions of widows and orphans. I hope.

BTW, the AP wire title was 'Rabbi: Non-believing soldiers die', which is inaccurate based on the quote: plenty of Jews believe in God, they just don't believe in wrapping Tefillin. Hey, we Jews might be meshuggenuh for believing that you'll get killed for forgetting to say Minchah, but being smited for not believing? That's just goyish.

Transgendered Bracha Throwdown, Round 2

All my radical chevre:

I got a great private reply to my last posting. Needless to say, some concerns about my being not only a squaresville rabbi but also an offensive, not funny rabbi, were raised. I posted my response below. Feel free to complain or berate: thats what the internet is for.

L'Shalom,

The Radical Cleric



Dear Plonit,

Thanks for taking the time to address your concerns. It's a vessel for growth for all involved.

I think, if you re-read my blog, you'll see that that I pretty much start off by stating that I'm wrestling with this issue, and that I'm being honest in saying that I'm not totally comfortable with Transgendered issues. This is in stark contrast to 99% of individuals who deal with Queer issues, who hide their discomfort and don't embrace it. Everybody is a little gay, a little straight, a little effeminate, a little masculine, a little racist, a little homophobic. I am merely using the blog format to aknowledge an area in which I am, honestly, a little uncomfortable.

Humor is an important part of who I am. Some jokes are bound to offend. I apologize for the remark. But I think it's important not to take ourselves as people so seriously. To me punany is a slang term for vagina, and appending pseudo to it evokes the reality that it was made and fashioned by human hands. It's just a funky twist of the tongue meant to aknowledge the reality that we humans cannot accurately and successfully reconstruct male and female reproductive organs.

You're right, I don't know many transsexuals. I feel I tried to focus the details of my blog on my critiques of the potential for rituals of changing gender, because I wanted to deal with theory and law, not people and events. I agree with the idea of changing genders. We are lucky to live in a world where medical science can aid someone who feels they were mis-assigned their gender at birth. I agree with having a ritual for it. I think mikvah and/or some kind of public ritual is a good idea. I don't think a bracha with shem and malchut is the right way to go; I personally don't make up blessings with shem and malchut, but I will use 'yehi ratzon milfanecha' and conclude with 'baruch ata... shome-ah tefillah'. In fact, as I'm sure you know, the Talmud in masechet Brachot makes it fairly clear that blessings with Shem and Malchut have been reserved for the Tannaitic generation. Of course, the Kulanu book is a Reform publication, so I doubt they care about my halachic observations.

I do the best I can to be open-minded. I accept everybody mostly on their terms, but at some level, we all deal with people and things on our terms. I've always felt that Gay and Lesbian issues were an important fight that the Conservative movement needed to be in, despite growing up with a multitude of influences that pressed me to ostracize Queers. I'm not that far along the curve regarding transgendered/transsexual individuals, and I'll admit that. But remember that I believe in halacha, and I'm a Conservative Jew. I'm about as progressive as progressive as we get, so remember that I'm not perfect but I'm still, at the end of the day, an ally.

Essentially, what I really want is to find an authentic and still Conservative way to affirm transgendered issues. Because until we do, honestly, I believe most Jews will not take these blessings, these rituals, or these individuals seriously.

I really respect your criticicism, and will take it to heart. I still have a way to go, I know, in really being fully comfortable with transgendered individuals. But I'm trying my best to understand and love everyone equally, because at the end of the day, that's what God demands and Torah expects.

Radical Cleric? More Like the Mild Mannered Squaresville Rabbi

OK, so here's the test of whether I'm 'Radical', 'Liberal', or merely 'slightly more open minded than Chief Justice Roberts'.



The Reform Movement has just created a new handbook meant to help affirm Gay, Lesbian, Bisexual and trans-gendered individuals with new rituals and blessings. No big deal right?

Well, they apparently included three blessings for your sex-change operation. I couldn't feel more conflicted.

I've felt for a long while that the final frontier of Civil Rights in America is in full inclusion and embracing of Lesbians, Gays and Bisexuals into Judaism: sanctioning and officiating homosexual marriages, standing up for partner benefits and affirming the right for Gays and Lesbians to adopt children. I'm proud to say I'm attending my first Gay wedding this weekend. (Shoot, I need to buy a gift and my Visa's maxxed. Anyone want to help keep this blog going by contributing, I dunno, a set of Nambe salad bowls?)

And I recognize that trans-gendered and trans-sexual individuals endure a lot of ridicule, scorn and hatred for being who they are. I can honestly see how painful it might be for somebody to feel that their self-image and identification may be as a woman even though they have a man's body.

And I get that people need their lives and their sacred moments affirmed by Jewish rituals, even new rituals.

But I'm sorry, I just can't go there to that blessing the sex-change place. Let me off the bus, this is where I gotta bail. I don't know what the blessing is that the rabbis came up with(She' lo asani isha might be close), but I just can't see it. It's a major life change, but one completely unfathomable to the rabbis and the tradition. Yes, there were dual-gendered and non-gendered individuals mentioned by the rabbis in the Talmud (androgynus and tumtum, respectively), but nobody surgically changed their sex back then.

I mean, if I were to make up a trans-surgery blessing, it would be uber-tortured and angst-ridden as all hell... something like: 'Blessed are you, Lord our God, Ruler of the universe, who made me as a man, physically, but then gave me a profound love of makeup and Manolo Blahniks and lots of other stuff that made me depressed and confused, often suicidal, to the point that I paid a doctor a ton of dough to cut off my wang and fashion for me a pseudo-punany, but hey, I'm not bitter, and I'm totally cool with You. Amen.'

I mean, what are other alternatives to a wacky new blessing? Do you go to the Mikvah to symbolize rebirth? If so, do you go before the surgery (like a bride before a wedding) or after (like a convert who's passed Beit Din)? And then, what do you tell the Mikvah lady? For a female-to-male operation, couldn't you just have a Bris? Or are you like, created circumcised (which the rabbis also discuss even though they state that such a thing never happened)?

I fully agree with the right for individuals to have sex changes if they feel it's right for them. I agree with treating trans-gendered individuals with respect, as complete and total equals, just like any other person in society. It's the blessing or ritual-making over the surgery I feel weird about.

On the one hand, I'm at a loss for how to proceed. On the other hand, this is pretty new territory, which needs an enterprising rabbi to investigate its Halachic matters; I see a job opportunity. Post a reply if you're interested in being 'Chief Posek on Halachic Sex Changes'. I think I'm probably too square for the gig.

Hey, my apologies. Maybe I blew it as 'Radical Cleric' and don't live up to the hype. Also, I'm sorry for not giving an impassioned defense of the practice or a complete tirade against it. I know blogs are supposed to be laced with inflammatory vitriol. I think it might be kind of radical to be conflicted in a blog, no?

Ahavat Chinam: Baseless Love

Israeli riot police officers met resistance on Tuesday as they removed Jewish
settlers from illegal residences in the West Bank city of Hebron. As one
settler was carried off near the market, an officer rushed to pick up the
man’s glasses from the ground. - NY Times 8/8/07

I'm no fan of illegal settlers in Hebron, nor is the Israeli Army

always a bastion of righteousness. However, this picture pretty

much embodies to me the highest ideals of the Jewish state.

Everybody has the right to protest, and the cops not only don't

brutalize you for your objections, but rather facilitate the

protesting process.

I mean, granted, the NY Times could have just as easily shown

pictures of settlers spitting on cops (which they did too). But the

standard of behavior between Yids should be this picture above,

no more and no less. The Talmud teaches that the Temple was

destroyed because of baseless hatred. I'm all about the baseless love.